For most of my life I have walked away from anything (and everyone) that has caused me grief, stress or heartache. I should state that it wasn’t walking. It was marathon running. Once I make up my mind to end a job or a relationship, I sprint out in full speed. It takes me a while to make a decision, but once it is made, there is no stopping me. When I get to the point of running it is because I have tried everything else to make the situation or relationship work. I’ve exhausted all my energy and the little bit that’s left is to run away. 

I have to say I am tired of running. I am tired of making decisions that later cause me stress and heartache. I am done with reinventing my life. My angels and guidance have let me know that I have learned some valuable lessons and paid my karmic debt.

The last two years have been full of cutting painful cords, ending experiences, closing chapters and lots of spiritual growth. Oh, my goodness, this last obstacle has been the most difficult one. The lessons in betrayal, forgiveness, release and letting go have been astronomical. Witnessing the disassociation from someone I loved has been intense. When the blindfolds were removed, I questioned my intuition for not seeing the truth. It shattered my faith and belief in trust. Now I witness the state of the world, and I feel like all that I’ve endured is preparing me for major challenges ahead. I’ve learned to shed light when it’s been the darkest.

I cried more in the last two years than ever before in my life. I have also had the most amazing experiences full of joy to offset the scales. I have found peace and harmony in the midst of heavy storms that lasted months. And, each time someone has asked me how I am, I have always answered, “I’m fine. I am okay. It’s life.” Meantime, in the darkness of the night, I have had to glue pieces of myself together. My kids have been the foundation to the transitions. My adult children have had to hold my hand and heart many times with love and compassion. I don’t know where I would be without their support. 

We hurt people sometimes. It’s inevitable. We get hurt as well. When it comes to humanity, we aren’t exempt from betrayal and disappointments. We aren’t created to just slide through life without obstacles, challenges or losses. Where there is joy, there is also sadness. Where there is love there is also the opposite full of disappointments. But what I have learned is that we don’t lose what isn’t for us. The Universe takes care of removing people and things that don’t bring us to the highest evolution.

Forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator or the action. What it does is liberate the soul from being in state of imprisonment. Forgiveness is the elixir to begin healing. It is a means of survival and navigating this human existence.

Spiritual truths aren’t easy to assimilate. The higher you go up on vibration and frequency, the more profound the lessons appear. Eventually we learn to not struggle. We learn to let go quicker. We grow and expand and return to love. The answer is always love through forgiveness. It is always there to show us that we can still show up in spite of brokenness. You are allowed to stay down and lick your wounds for a while. Give yourself a giant pity-party if you must. What you cannot do is stay in victimization mode. You must rise, darling! You must dust the crap off. I am constantly asking myself, “What is this teaching me? Why is there a delay in things happening? What can I do to move through the yuckiness? What is the best way to serve my soul?”

Nothing lasts forever, including grief and losses. We have choices in what we allow in our lives. We give permission to the things we tolerate. Such powerful life training! I need to find The Idiot Manual to Life. Perhaps then I can make things easier. Does anyone know where I can get a copy? 

One thing I have learned in the last few years is that perseverance is driven by faith. I’ve had to trust when I haven’t had much to go on. I’ve had to experience my tenacity, which I have graduated with honors.

When you feel lost and you are holding on to dear life on the side of a cliff, scared to death to let go, remember that God is always there to catch you. I have been blessed with amazing souls in my life who have soften the blows. I am beyond grateful. Life is shifting and it is teaching to live fully, to love wholeheartedly, and forgive often. What a ride! I am excited to experience all the new beginnings.

I love you, 

Millie