I am in the process of writing a book about the many faces of God and our conversations. This one was from last night. May you enjoy the messages and take them in for you as well. They are universal. We often forget that we are so connected in hearts!

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In the middle of the night, between tossing and turning, I found myself drifting towards God. I felt it the moment I asked for Her. I don't know why I waited hours to say Her name. When I did, I was in Her casita in the rainforest. 

She was sipping on sweet tea on her porch, rocking away in her beautiful chair. 

"Wah Gwaan. Bout time you made it. Tea is ready." I looked beside her and there was my lovely tea cup with Chai in it and the smell of cinnamon lingering through the air.

I bent down to hug her and kiss her forehead, taking in the scent of roses.

"Now ma' child. Such heartache. Gawn...sit. We must have a talk!"

I sat noticing the way the light was hitting greenery as the water magnified it all. All around us was a jungle of extravagant greens. The light casted over just one spot that made the Tree of Life stand out in all of its majesty. 

I took a deep breath sipping on my hot tea. She asked if I wanted bread pudding. I said I was okay. 

"Now... mi got question. I expect honest answer." We both rocked and the soft rain began to hit the tin roof. I closed my eyes, rocking the floor boards moved. "The floor will hold us up." She said as the thought crossed my mind.

"If one of your children (her English became perfect) was on the floor hurting, would you bang them up and humiliate them and make them feel as if they were worthless?"

In horror of that thought, I immediately answered, "God NO! I would never. Sorry didn't mean to use your name. But, No!"

"Then why do you do it to my child? Why do you do it to YOU?" She looked straight into my heart. I began to sob loudly. 

She got up and grabbed me. I stood as my head rested against her chest. She kissed my head, her hands softening my back. I felt the mother of all there is keeping me together.

"You would never do to another what you do to yourself. You would never beat another person up. You would never hurt someone the way you hurt yourself. I expect only the most gentleness from you towards you. You are created in my image. For you to hurt you is for you to hurt me."

The rain fell harder, the wind blew past me. I felt the sting of her truth. I felt the shame for the way I have been degrading myself daily. I felt shame. 

"Don't be ashamed. Don't feel guilty. I don't say this to hurt you. I say this as an awareness that you decide how you are to be treated by the way you treat yourself. It's not a cliche, Mildred America. It is the truth. Mi have inner luv fi you." I couldn't move my head to look into her eyes. I wrapped my hands on the back of her white linen shirt tightly. "There, there, ma' child. You know truth. I am only reminding you of what you so freely express to others."

"God, when is this going to stop hurting?"

"In time. Also, in time you will see so much more than what the lens of your perception will allow at this moment. You will see how it all fits perfectly. It will all align. Now gawn! Irie."

And just like that I woke to my cold bed and a little girl half asleep rubbing her eyes. "Mommy, my bed feels uncomfortable. Can I sleep with you?" I moved over and allowed her little body to be held with mine until we both drifted into peacefulness.