Displacement

Lately, when talking with friends and family, I keep hearing the words “displaced, misplaced, and disconnected.”  It seems to be a universal theme.  But again, it could be just like when you buy a car and then realize everyone has it.  You hadn’t noticed it before and now that you have it you are aware of its existence.I noticed a giant shift towards the end of 2011.  I don’t want to buy into the 2012 cosmic changes with or without the Mayan calendar.  I want to believe that this year will bring wonderful surprises into my life.  Yet, it has started out in a sense with much displacement.  At first it was just settling into the slowness of our business and the winter months.  Then it was the weather and my sinuses adjusting to the coldness.  But ultimately it seems to be something esoteric.  I don’t know.  I have to admit that I don’t know what it is.  I do know that others are feeling it as well.  Some just don’t know what to name it.  And, I hate to even put a label on the feelings.It’s always easy to talk about changes, whether or not they are profound shifts in our lives when we can see them.  However, when those changes can’t be seen but felt with anxiety, I believe it is allowing fear to take over. We all want and crave for better things.  Recently, I feel like I am waiting for a bus to arrive to take me elsewhere.  I have no clue what the destination or route I am to take.  It’s just a feeling of anticipation.  And, no matter how many times I go hiking, walking, or remove myself from this unknown impatience it seems to come looking for me.  Meditation, contemplation and prayer help for a little while.  Keeping busy seems to stop the feeling but I need grounding and avoiding the feeling seems to put me in a worst twist.Fear is like that.  I read somewhere that fear = false evidence appearing real.  If that’s so then the anticipation is a form of an unknown psychosis of my creation.  I don’t really know what I fear when I am not anxious about anything in particular.  Whatever it is I need to just invite it in.  I’ve come to the conclusion to just sit with the displacement when it arises.  Like Rumi’s poem:

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,some momentary awareness comesas an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,who violently sweep your houseempty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably.He may be clearing you outfor some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,meet them at the door laughing,and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,because each has been sentas a guide from beyond.

~ Rumi ~

I will sit with each incline, letting me momentarily feel its awareness and then sending it off.  That’s all I can do when I can’t find anything else.  Be grateful and allow each visit from the emotions to teach me something.  Perhaps in that space I will finally see that I have a lesson and not feel displaced. Meantime, I have to remind myself that I am fine and that this, too, shall pass!