The Ticky-ticky Syndrome

 Sometimes it just takes one moment to really shake things up…if you let it. Life is full of negative people. Sitting by the pond yesterday watching the kids play in the pond I received this phone call:Me: Good afternoon, Peaceful Quest Retreats.Arrogant man: How much are your rooms?Me: $69 a night plus tax.A.M: Do you have any rooms available for tonight?Me: Yes, we do. We have one room left with a queen bed.A.M: What’s the best you can do on that price?Me: $69. This is our busy season. Have you been here before? You get an extra 10% discount.A.M: No! Never have! (He said this almost in disgust while dragging the n-e-v-e-r out). Now, let me get this straight (with a much sarcastic nasty undertone) YOU rather leave a room unrented than lower your price?Me: We will rent it before the evening is over, sir! (I tried to smile as the words poured out of my mouth).A.M: That’s just ridiculous! That’s too expensive! You should consider lowering that price. It’s not like your place is a classy resort…Me interrupting: Sweetie… this isn’t a flea market where you can bargain for a price….Arrogant man: hung up!!!At first I laughed the conversation off, but as I was going to bed I felt horrible. I replayed the conversation as if I knew this man. In a way I have known his type all of my life. I don’t like being rude to anyone. It isn’t in my DNA. I get really disturbed when I am in this type of position. I understand that arrogance is something that people suffer from when they are used to getting their way by bullying others. It serves no purpose in my life and reminds me of the way I was bulldozed for most of my adult life. This man’s tone was so nasty, with a bunch of pauses and sarcasm, that I can’t relay it in this blog.Arrogant people are accustomed to arguing their point and expect that form of interaction to break you down. I call it the Ticky-ticky Syndrome. These types of people continuously peck until you are so worn out that you just give into what they want. Antagonism is a form of defensive breakthrough. The Ticky-ticker uses that manipulation and repetition to get his way. He can’t take “no” for an answer. He has to get his way by playing head games. This requires him to use insults to manipulate emotions. It’s not just what is said, but how it is said!Many times, during similar situations, I have to step back and audit my emotional response. Am I overreacting? Why am I taking this personally? My ego seems to collide with their aggression and I back down quickly. The antagonistic behavior that comes across some people is enough to make me build a wall around me. In this particular conversation I was sarcastic and laughing. Usually I just shut down. It is then that I give in…but this is something I am working on as I strengthen my self-esteem. I am also learning to have patience and tolerance for this type of personality while not compromising myself or what I believe.I am reminded that some people’s arrogance border on hostility. It could be childhood traumas, mental illness, or just plain assholeness. They are used to bulldozing their way through life and expect everyone to cater to their behavior. It is toxicity at its best. My nonchalant sarcasm disarmed him and he had no choice but to hang up. I guess the best way to avoid this behavior is to stay firm and laugh it off. Unfortunately, there are people in our lives who won’t back down and hang up. The Ticky-ticky Syndrome dominates them. It is the only way they can feel superior and manipulative. Staying firm while remaining calm is the most productive way of dealing with arrogance. The world is full of difficult, rude, controlling, and negative people. I know I shouldn’t take it personally. To me, it is much easier to be polite and friendly. But, hey, I don’t suffer from the Ticky-ticky Syndrome so I have no clue how they must feel. I hope that by auditing the situation (reflecting on being firm and kind) this type of personality appears less and less in my life. I sure hope so because that type of person serves no purpose anymore in my path other than learning to stand up for myself.