Gasping for Air

You had a bone to pick with me…digging out,unleashing an ugly truthof a perceptionbrought on by my words,nasty monologue,and the lack of expressing my sideof a story I believed to be one way.I allowed it,even owned it for a while,until the realization sankthat you don’t know meanymore than I know you. Lessons come in moments,days, weeks and narrativescascading through emotions…nothing is ever what it seems.Smothering closes in,spaces are confined,and both sides race to a finish linewhile neither voicestheir suffocation,lack of air stretch,in the freedomwe know as the realityof our lives. We are never the sums of half truths,untold substances,made up by the what if’sbrought on by past experiences.Neither of us lived in those scenarios,never intertwining into each other.We never touched the same terrains,walked similar journeys,or ventured in each others’ timelines…we cannot be expected to adhereto the tension of any physical attractionswhen the rest of us doesn’t quite fitthe puzzle pieces.They should all have fallen easy –no force or manipulation. Words escaped me at that moment,paralyzing the little girl in me,when I wanted to protest,feeling raw and exposedto explain what I don’t knowin this and that of two strangers. Egos have a way of taking over,multiplying, enhancing and dictatinginstead of allowingour authentic selves to speak. It’s okay.  I now understand.The past is a cosmic webthreading us to new experiencesthat push and pull the psycheforcing growth.I am thankful for the testas I stand back watchinga movie replay…for this path I shall never walk again.