The Forgiveness Transformation

There has been a beautiful emergence of discussions surrounding forgiveness lately all around me, including my own forgiveness.

I was deeply touched when a cherished friend reached out to seek my guidance. We decided to meet at a charming café, embracing the warmth of a glorious spring day. As she began pouring out her heart, she anticipated my response before I could even speak, saying, "I know what you're going to say. 'Let it go and forgive... karma has his address.' But, I simply cannot and will not release this burden."

Curious, I asked her why she sought my help if she was determined to follow her own path. It became clear that she longed for someone's validation. And so, I gave her exactly that.

You see, I cannot embrace the notion of "an eye for an eye." Seeking retribution for the wrongdoings of others doesn't resonate with my spirit. I firmly believe that the Universe, in its wisdom, keeps a careful account, and it is not for me to inflict harm or damage in return. I consider myself not merely a pacifist, but rather a firm believer in the universal law of cause and effect.

Here is what I've come to understand about forgiveness: it is never solely for the benefit of the other person.

When I choose to forgive, it is an act of releasing and healing within myself. Forgiveness allows me to relinquish the pain caused by my own betrayal of not fully trusting in a higher power. I am well aware that many close to me have criticized and judged my ability to let go so effortlessly. I've been known to walk away from dreadful situations without looking back, truly leaving it all behind. In moments of desperation, anxiety, and emotional turmoil, I must gather my strength and courageously step away. This choice has resulted in the loss of considerable amounts of money, careers, homes, and relationships. However, I refuse to engage in someone else's insanity and sacrifice my own spirit by enabling their hurt. Instead, I can only wish them well and continue my journey forward. I won't deny that it is challenging! When I leave a situation, I don't do so with carefree joy, but rather with exhaustion and pain.

Deep in my being, I believe that when someone inflicts harm upon us, it is a reflection of their own profound pain.

Most individuals fail to take responsibility for their actions or the drama they create, instead pointing fingers at others. As time passes, their own pain intensifies. Yet, retaliating and causing further harm is not the answer. For me, walking away, starting anew, and allowing the natural course of events to unfold is the way I am designed to forgive and move forward. This approach may not resonate with everyone, but it is my way. It is the only way I can find solace in my heart, knowing that I have forgiven and placed those events in a compartment of compassion. I view each experience as a powerful lesson, preparing me for the next chapter.

Throughout my life's journey, I am certain that I have unintentionally caused hurt to others. I am an imperfect soul, fiercely determined yet flawed.

I do not set out with the intention to harm anyone, but I understand that when our actions deviate from others' expectations, it can birth pain in a situation. Our expectations of each other often lead to disappointment. Our unresolved past issues keep resurfacing, offering us invaluable opportunities for growth and understanding.

Sometimes, it takes time for me to release and let go. Yet, once I do, the ache dissipates. Those who have hurt me are set free from the hold I once had on them. I can interact with them, cross paths on the street, and feel nothing but compassion. There is no need to avoid or harbor malice towards them. I simply continue on my path, allowing them to be who they are. They no longer owe me anything because I have released them from that obligation. They are grappling with their own challenges. As humans, we are all striving to navigate this journey of life until the day we depart.

I asked my friend what she hoped to gain from inflicting pain upon the person who had deeply wounded her. Her response was "peace!" I gently explained to her that revenge holds no peace; it only begets more pain. While it may provide a fleeting sense of satisfaction, it will eventually boomerang back and bring further suffering. I implored her never to seek such advice from me. I cannot tolerate the idea of deliberately causing harm to another person, merely to boost one's ego.

The ego has a cunning way of leading us astray, weaving intricate webs of deceit and trickery. I choose not to engage in such behavior. As we ascend the ladder of personal and spiritual growth, we gradually release regrets, resentments, and anger—the lower vibrational frequencies that weigh us down.

Do you want to know when you've truly grown? It's when you no longer harbor painful thoughts about another person. Do you want to recognize your spiritual evolution? It's when you genuinely wish them nothing but the very best, irrespective of the harm they caused you. Do you want to experience true freedom in life? It's when you can sense the hurt approaching long before it arrives, and you simply accept it and move forward. You establish healthy boundaries, no longer allowing yourself to be a doormat. Instead, you embrace those experiences as powerful teachers, revealing your own humanity.

Oprah once wisely said, "True forgiveness is when you can say, 'Thank you for that experience.'"

Letting go is not an easy process. It's not a cliché that we can swallow when anger and resentment consume us. It can often be an arduous struggle that engenders distress and anxiety. However, in releasing the past, the traumas, the events, and even the atrocities, we create space for our true essence to shine. Eventually, we discover balance through gratitude for these profound life lessons.

Each and every one of us deserves to reside in a serene state of consciousness. Our higher selves will present the most favorable lessons for our spiritual growth. It is up to us to accept them and continue on our journey. True forgiveness, in every sense of the word, is an act of grace and mercy. So, let us not allow the pain to keep us imprisoned in a cell of our own hatred.

I love you!