False Interpretation

A few years ago something hurtful was said about me right in front of me. It cut the core of my heart because some untruths are just passive aggressively wicked. They speak volumes of all the others things that aren't mentioned in my presence. Because I do not participate in confrontations or arguments, I stood back feeling like a fool. I felt even worst when I walked away. All the “should’ves and would'ves” came at me directly from Ego. All the self-esteem issues from childhood visited within minutes. I was back to that little chubby girl who kept her mouth tightly shut with fear of being reprimanded. I had to stop myself from retaliating in front of  folks. I do not like scenes. I avoid them. I get sick just thinking about touching a delicate subject with some people because I know the personalities and they cannot take responsibility for their tongues. I rather turn the other cheek and deal with it on my own timing. Eventually it is forgiven and forgotten. 

That night, while reading Elizabeth Gilbert's new book Big Magic, I came upon her sharing about a book signing for her other book, Eat Pray Love.  A woman came up to her to thank her for inspiring her to leave her abusive relationship because of Elizabeth's own abusive relationship while putting a restraining order on her ex-husband. Elizabeth sat in dismay. There was no restraining order or violence in her book. This woman interpreted the book to fit her story. Elizabeth realized that it's not her responsibility how people interpret what she writes. It's out there. It's over. It's now in someone else's hands. And this is what we do. We change events while projecting and interpreting the stories to fit our very own. We immortalize events and each retelling of the story changes a bit while embellishing to an astronomical lie.   

We are all experiencing these massive timeline shifts that, at times, do not coincide with our truths and stories. I am experiencing it frequently. Someone will share a story about me that does not fit into my memories at all. It feels like a constant Mandela effect. If you've never heard of the Mandela effect you may want to look it up:

"The Mandela effect occurs when a person believes that their distorted memories are, in fact, accurate recollections. They can clearly remember events that happened differently or events that never occurred at all."

I cannot make you see anything my way. It isn't right or wrong. We are moved through our perceptions based on experiences. And sometimes, depending on where we are emotionally, things get distorted. We begin to shift and change whatever is in our frame of reference. I have learned that in this life, when it comes to how people see me, I am not responsible for their interpretations. It isn't my duty to change what they have already concluded about me. My responsibility lies in me, and how I react. I can keep those folks in my life, or not. I am giving myself permission to finally detox of undeserving energy in my circles. I don't owe anyone an explanation for my beliefs. We all have our bias that form our awareness. 

But, I do want you to recognize your worth. Do not EVER allow another to diminish you and you accept it as your truth. No freaking way!!! Give yourself permission to walk away from what doesn't feel right. You are not a tree deeply rooted to the earth. You have the most beautiful ability to regroup, restart and realign into something magical. 

I love you,

Millie 

“No one can make you feel inferior without their consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt