Wisdom in Aging

We place so much emphasis on the aging process. I watch people nipping and tucking and trying desperately to reverse the natural process of evolution. Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful to keep yourself up and feel good about yourself. However, women will do just about anything to prolong the inevitable progress. Men go through midlife crisis by buying sport cars, joining a gym and going after younger women. Our social status changes and diminishes with each passing year. Social media and the cosmetic industry profit from the fear, obsession and compulsion of ageism.

When I was about to turn 30, I remember going through the emotional roller coaster and feeding into the myth of departing youth. What truly saved me from spiraling down some stupid depression (over the imaginary issue of time) was that my daughter, Angelica, arrived from Romania on my birthday. For over a year I had gone through the tedious adoption process alone. I was exhausted by the time my birthday came around. My two sons and family celebrated this incredible arrival in the airport. All disillusions of age disappeared when I picked her up from the plane. Turning 30 never felt so good. That day I released the stigma placed in our society of getting old, especially thirty!

When I turned 40, my life changed completely. My mother died eleven days before my birthday. I ended an eighteen-year relationship, left my business, made sure four out of my six grown children were settled in their own places, moved away and began truly living an authentic life. That was the year I realized that age is measured by how we reach success within the parameters of a social number. We are taught and programmed to base our lives on how much has been done by certain years. These events (or lack of) place all sorts of stress that imprison each of our lives, especially in the Western world. Status and achievements seem to be how we perceive our personal identities.

After overcoming many obstacles, I learned several secrets to delaying the aging process: Happiness is the best wrinkle cream. Compassion is the cheapest Botox injection. Harmony is the miracle anti-depressant drug. Meditation is your own spiritual guide and teacher. A smile is the ultimate face lift. Laughter is sexy at any age. And, forgiveness is the real fountain of youth.

The most beautiful part of aging is the knowing and accepting that you’ve had a life. Aging is a privilege and a compensation for this journey full of experiences. I wouldn’t trade a single moment of youth for the place where I am right now. As my birthday rolls around this weekend, over five decades have taught me that this very moment is the only one I can count on. I am in constant awed of such divine beauty in my life and all the incredibly remarkable experiences that every year teach me.

It was raining on and off today. I walked to my car to go get my little ones and I could see the fog over the mountains. I could smell the humidity in the air. I noticed the clouds sweeping by and the gift in the calmness of it all. I felt the cool breeze brushing against my face and a chill saluting my body. And just like that I realized that to be young again would mean never noticing the world and all its beauty the way I do now. I wouldn’t be able to find the serenity in the simple things because being young feeds the fallacy that aging is appalling, indescribable, yucky, unforgiving, and unattractive. I remember my mother always saying, “If I could go back to being young but knowing what I know now…!”

I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t share the secret of “knowing what I know now” when I was still young. All she would say was that I had to experience it myself. If given the chance to go back I would decline. I rather continue moving forward because the best parts of my life are waiting in the distance. I have learned to love and accept all the parts of me that I didn’t see before. I continue to evolve into a being that is less interested in the 3D world while moving through pure contentment, love and compassion… especially for me.

Aging never looked lovelier.

I love you, regardless of your age and experiences,

Millie

For more creative writings please visit my other blog: Moments with Millie